Another Reason to Curl Up With a Good Book: He Needs More Information Before Having Sex for the First Time
He’s ready to lose his virginity and has the perfect woman in mind. Now, all that stands between him and sex is fear. Actually, intimidation might be a better word. He has no idea what to expect on that first night and is worried he’ll do everything wrong. A little light reading should cure his insecurity.
Case #: 1892
Concern：
I am 18 years old and have fantasized about sex for as long as I can remember. I’m in a long-term relationship now and want nothing more than to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. But I have one problem: I’m afraid of sex because I have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t know if it’s going to hurt, if it’ll feel good, if we’ll both be embarrassed, or if I’ll make an idiot of myself. I know my girl is the one, but I need some tips before we go any further. Can you help?
Discussion：
People have a funny way of thinking sex just happens. They imagine kissing their lover and then seamlessly going to bed, where they strip their clothes and engage in the most pleasurable experience of their lives. After, they lay between the sheets with just the right amount of skin visible, their hair delicately mussed and their limbs still sensually entwined.
Of course, it’s usually virgins who have these sweet if not altogether completely unrealistic visions
Here’s the Truth
On average, males lose their virginity just before age 17, with females coming in slightly later at about 17.5. When you consider these statistics, you realize people are quite young when they embark on their sexual journeys. It’s no wonder so many first-time stories are filled with tales of embarrassment and regret.
People who don’t know differently fumble during sex. They forget the condom or self-consciously move their head only to bump their lover’s. Of course, even seasoned veterans have the occasional mishap, such as inhaling a mouthful of hair or sneezing at a crucial moment.
Regardless of age, sex requires effort – especially from virgins. Most people don’t get on a bicycle and race in the Tour de France that first ride. Such a goal is reached only with practice and diligence. Similarly, a great night of sex can be achieved only by arming yourself with information about the male and female bodies.
We don’t mean the kind of lesson you get from high school anatomy class. We mean a genuine focus on sex, including where a person’s feel-good spots are and how to stimulate them to greatest effect. We’re also talking about simple but important topics like lubrication, sexual positions and birth control. This is the information novices of all ages need before they have sex, because after the fact is just too late.
Late-Night Reading
Where might you find pictures and diagrams of sexual techniques? Or details on the female clitoris, that oh-so-mysterious spot sure to send her into spasms of ecstasy? Simply put, books for first-timers can put any worried mind at ease. (SEE: Book Tips for Males First Time Sex) They answer questions with unbiased and well-documented information. Their goal is not to sell products or videos, but rather to educate.
The books of which we speak come in a variety of selection. Popular categories include female needs, how-to guides and sexual positions. They contain lighthearted language so a reader doesn’t worry about memorizing every detail. Men and women both can read these books for greater insight, and couples can share them with each other to break any barriers that stand between them and a great first-night of sex.
Sex Guides not Intended as Porn
Unlike porn, largely intended to stimulate sexual arousal, books for novices provide instruction. Titles like How to be a Great Lover and 500 Sex Tips demystify sex and build confidence. The information they provide doesn’t need to be followed step-by-step, but it will help you and your girlfriend understand how to satisfy each other.
Although sex is considered to be a rite of passage, the first time no longer needs to be a cringe-worthy memory relegated to the recesses of your mind. It can instead be a building block for your relationship and life. Books for beginners will ease your fears and bring sex into perspective. It is a normal and healthy act that, when done properly, leaves you blissfully breathless – and hoping for more.
What to do
Book-Buying for Male Virgins: His Guide to Finding Helpful Literature
Every male